The All Seeing Television will come to life in your hands, manifest in your dreams, and hypnotize you while you stare deeply into each others eyes.

While you’re sprawled on the couch, scrolling for something to watch, it’s already watching you—with eyes that actually move. Poke the back, and those peepers roll: the blue ones blink like they’re in on a secret, the green (lash-adorned!) ones bat like they’re flirting, the red ones glare like they caught you sneaking the last slice of pizza, and the brown ones? They’re over here, deep in thought about… well, you.

Don’t worry, it’s got range. Hold it, and it “comes alive.” Stare too long? Yeah, it might just lull you into a little daydream (or a tiny, playful nightmare—no promises). Hard on the outside, weirdly squishy-fleshy in the middle, it’s like a tiny, all-knowing monster that fits in your hand. Oh, and we toss in a bottle of “VisioMaxiumum” – is it for “omniscience”? For making those eyes glide smoother? Who knows. But isn’t that part of the fun?

The eye is controllable with your finger through a hole in the back of the TV

• Knows all things in all places at all times
  
• Watches you while you watch it
  
• Casts dreams and nightmares directly into your unconscious
  
• Hard on the outside with a soft fleshy middle
  
• Comes with a bottle of VisioMaxiumum for total omniscience and absolute lubrication